Taking Music to Heart
There’s a lot of songs that carry the theme, ‘I’m SO over you I’m interested in dating other people.’ Most have a “HA! In your FACE!” attitude like Nancy Sinatra’s awesome refrain
When the sun goes down and the moon comes up I’m gonna go out and prowl..Oh ya! Don’t come lookin’ for your pussy cat, cause I won’t be here no how! Whoa! How does that grab you darlin’?”
while others are sweet and respectful like Melanie’s lament
When I finish my laundry and air out my head Gonna look for another long-haired man to help me make my bed You know that I’ll miss you, but, strangely I’m glad Gonna make it without you And that’s what’s so sad.”
Obviously music is reflecting real life in this case, as I’m sure you can call to mind a dozen instances in your real life, movies, books and whatever, where a caring friend has told an ex-coupled person something along the lines of, “why don’t you get back out there already?” or offered to set them up with someone they believe to be a suitable mate. This is to the point that it seems like “moving on” is actually considered the same thing as moving onto other romantic partners. Or maybe it’s just the secret to achieving that resolution. Whatever. Here is the query I wanted to get to in, admittedly, a ridiculously roundabout way: how does one tell they are sufficiently “over” an ex without the addition of a new relationship? Consider anyone you know who remained single (for at least a relatively long while) after a break-up. At what point did you, as only a secondhand observer, consider that person to have successfully dealt with whatever healing was necessary from that relationship? If the ex-partner of that person re-entered the dating world before them how would that effect your perception of who-got-the-rottener-deal?
Weird, eh? But do you know what is le crap!? Can you think of many songs about breaking up/getting over somebody/moving on that don’t at least hint or threat other/new dudes and ladies? There’s plenty along the lines of “you’re such a dick/bitch” and “wow that was messed up, thanks” but try to find one that says, “I sure am glad to be free from all our coupled crap and be reunited with the joys of being on my own.” Maybe there are like two out there, which is by no means enough to instill me with any confidence in our society’s outlook on romance. The rarity of such songs mirrors the rarity of our personal strength.
Which reminds me of another thing!
. . .
OK, that’s where I meant to link to a whole tangential rant about The Obsession with Romance, but after beginning said post I was quickly distracted and haven’t returned to the right mindset to finish. So there’s another thing to add to the To Write List.
May 4th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
How do you know you’re ‘over’ someone? I question the concept. If you’ve been truly close to someone, that person will be with you in your head and heart for the rest of your life.
I guess it would be useful to have a milestone: perhaps when the stronger emotions subside and one reconciles with what was, then one could say you were ‘over’. If you’re stil angry or sad at the memory of someone, then you’re not there yet.
Just my $0.02 worth.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:56 am
*twang*
I still miss you dear
Even though we had to break up
You took all my beer
And left me with your make-up.
But seriously — you do just know. There doesn’t have to be someone else. There comes a moment where you see a picture of your ex, and you realise you don’t think of them as your ex anymore, but just as a friend.
Now, if they keep doing ‘crazy ex’ stuff that keeps throwing it back in your face, that’s another can of worms. . . .