Comments on: Sometimes Unnerving, Often Beautiful http://tara.barrelofapples.com/http:/tara.barrelofapples.com/sometimes-unnerving-often-beautiful Where all things of the Tara variety reside Fri, 05 Jun 2009 00:54:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: Tara http://tara.barrelofapples.com/http:/tara.barrelofapples.com/sometimes-unnerving-often-beautiful/comment-page-1#comment-137 Tara Wed, 28 Feb 2007 04:21:21 +0000 http://tara.barrelofapples.com/archives/628#comment-137 Even the shitty days are rewarding. Even the shitty days are rewarding.

]]> By: Beau http://tara.barrelofapples.com/http:/tara.barrelofapples.com/sometimes-unnerving-often-beautiful/comment-page-1#comment-123 Beau Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:12:15 +0000 http://tara.barrelofapples.com/archives/628#comment-123 From a homeless persons point of view, a shower feels like a nice little trip back from your feral surroundings. Followed shortly by the rage inside that you've gone this long without it. Self loathing, bitterness. It's a nasty fucking cycle. Most of us wanted to feel like animals. We wanted to drive ourselves further into that ditch. The pain was the only thing that kept us alive, because we could no longer see the good in ourselves. No longer look forward to things that used to make us happy. I used to look at my fellow street urchins and feel myself reflected in their own eyes. That dead feeling you just want to go away. And the happy ones just made us sicker. But now that I've sought mental health treatment, etc.., worked to put my life in a far more managable light, It just makes those instances when I can help all the more richer. That's what it's really about. From a homeless persons point of view, a shower feels like a nice little trip back from your feral surroundings. Followed shortly by the rage inside that you’ve gone this long without it. Self loathing, bitterness. It’s a nasty fucking cycle. Most of us wanted to feel like animals. We wanted to drive ourselves further into that ditch. The pain was the only thing that kept us alive, because we could no longer see the good in ourselves. No longer look forward to things that used to make us happy. I used to look at my fellow street urchins and feel myself reflected in their own eyes. That dead feeling you just want to go away. And the happy ones just made us sicker. But now that I’ve sought mental health treatment, etc.., worked to put my life in a far more managable light, It just makes those instances when I can help all the more richer. That’s what it’s really about.

]]> By: Jim http://tara.barrelofapples.com/http:/tara.barrelofapples.com/sometimes-unnerving-often-beautiful/comment-page-1#comment-122 Jim Thu, 25 Jan 2007 18:40:13 +0000 http://tara.barrelofapples.com/archives/628#comment-122 When my wife and I would eat at Carrows, often a homeless woman would wait outside and ask people for their left overs. The stuff I couldn't eat at one setting, might be her big meal for several days. I always gave what I had to her. It's amazing how much a home shapes us, how much a comfortable life shields us from what it must take to sit outside a Carrows and ask strangers for their left overs. I walk thirty feet from my work room and I have a shower. To be homeless has to do something to your humanity, how you hold the world in your head in spatial ways. I remember looking at that woman like she was a lost pet or something ,and I was feeding her from the table . Only reading about what a shower could mean to a homeless person now (however they celebrate it) helps me realize the Carrows lady was always a human being. I feel bad that I forgot that for one minute. How could that happen? I hope I never do it again. When my wife and I would eat at Carrows, often a homeless woman would wait outside and ask people for their left overs. The stuff I couldn’t eat at one setting, might be her big meal for several days. I always gave what I had to her. It’s amazing how much a home shapes us, how much a comfortable life shields us from what it must take to sit outside a Carrows and ask strangers for their left overs. I walk thirty feet from my work room and I have a shower.

To be homeless has to do something to your humanity, how you hold the world in your head in spatial ways. I remember looking at that woman like she was a lost pet or something ,and I was feeding her from the table . Only reading about what a shower could mean to a homeless person now (however they celebrate it) helps me realize the Carrows lady was always a human being. I feel bad that I forgot that for one minute. How could that happen? I hope I never do it again.

]]> By: Tara http://tara.barrelofapples.com/http:/tara.barrelofapples.com/sometimes-unnerving-often-beautiful/comment-page-1#comment-118 Tara Thu, 25 Jan 2007 02:38:33 +0000 http://tara.barrelofapples.com/archives/628#comment-118 I guess. Some of them do that, too. I guess. Some of them do that, too.

]]> By: Ian http://tara.barrelofapples.com/http:/tara.barrelofapples.com/sometimes-unnerving-often-beautiful/comment-page-1#comment-117 Ian Thu, 25 Jan 2007 01:56:45 +0000 http://tara.barrelofapples.com/archives/628#comment-117 I wonder if this is kind of a context specific equivalent of singing in the shower. I wonder if this is kind of a context specific equivalent of singing in the shower.

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